Leggings and Other Morsels...This Week's Tidbits

What a week this has entailed! You know it's going to be crazy when your husband is working 60+ hours, your littlest is sick and cutting two teeth, and your 5 year old acts like, "This is just another day, Mom. Where's my peanut butter sandwich?"

I have discovered the power in leggings. I have always hated leggings. As a slightly (hah! who am I kidding?!)  more voluptuous type (get real, I have a lot of cellulite that I have just come to terms with), they have always been the bane of my closet's existence. That, and anything involves my thighs. Say, shorts. Off topic, but real. Any ways, I have gotten 3 pairs of leggings- either clearance, or given to me- and I must say, I AM IN LOVE. I used to see them as vacuum wrap for my cottage cheese legs, every divot on my upper thighs highlighted by the ridiculously shiny nature of leggings, but now... I am relishing how soft they are on my ever expanding midsection. Being in the whole not-maternity worthy, but not able to button the jeans belly stage, I am ever so appreciative. I probably won't be leaving the house in them without a dress over. After all, if it can happen to Paris Hilton, it WILL happen to me.

Next order of business: T-5 days until we go on a cruise! I am uber excited. As in, I bought make up for the first time in 4 years. I know what you're thinking, concealer gets gross after like 6 months, but hey, who doesn't just pick out the clumps, shake it up, and move on when they only wear it maybe 10 times a year? I am also getting my 2nd trim in 15 months, since I have been growing my hair out and now it's completely Mom-Frump-Unruly. Lingerie packed, check. What's that? You're going to have S-E-X? Umm, yeah. Darn skippy. It's a beautiful thing in the context that God created it. Apparently we have heard of the thing, and seeing as how we are almost a family of five, we must be decent at it.  We are going to be alone. On the ocean. Under the stars. Alone.  I am so excited!!

It's going to be like our honeymoon all over!

Speaking of no kids, a conversation with my five year old:

Me: "So I saw you picking flowers for Laura Jean at church this morning."
Micah: "Yeah, I did."
Me: "What was that for?'
Micah: "She's my friend and I wanted to do something nice for her."
Me: "Is she your girlfriend?"
Micah: "No, I don't want to do that stuff. She's just my friend. I won't have a girlfriend until I'm like, 17. Is that good?"
Me: "Sounds great!"

 I love that he is learning things like this. That just because TV or the movies or the stuff you hear people talk about is common, doesn't mean it's what has to happen in your life. You go by the standards God gave you. You listen to Mommy and Daddy, and we'll guide you best we can. Don't count on the world to make you happy, or fill your voids, because you'll only get let down. It's showing me that we are doing something right and that he has a good head on his shoulders, even if he doesn't listen to his Abuelo to get out of the sprinklers. In time, little one, in time.

Stay young and small!

Pumpkin Baby: 13 Weeks of Baking Done!

13 Weeks- No wonder I can't sleep on my belly, my uterus is the size of a grapefruit!

How Far Am I: umm, you just read that :) 13 weeks and change down. My first trimester is done!

Baby's Gender: We will find out in approx 6 weeks. Right now we have no preference- another boy would be super easy since we are pretty much prepared, and boys make for a rowdy but fun house. A girl would be great too! And having two older brothers to beat up guys coming around in high school... priceless.

How Much Weight Have I Gained: -10. For the first 6 weeks, I basically had no appetite, but only threw up maybe 3-5 times a week. Yes, gross, but a drastic improvement from other pregnancies. With our first, I was on medications and close to being in the hospital at some points from hyperemisis- I lost 26 lbs and would throw up 10+ times a day. Maybe it's a girl this time? Or am I just getting used to pregnancy hormones?

Cravings: Not much- trying to eat a balanced diet, and increase my iron. It was a little low on my last lab draw, but the iron pills are killing my stomach. Extra spinach, beans, meat, etc are being added. The only things I really "crave" are things a little fancier- right now, I am eating a baguette with herbed goat cheese, fresh cut basil, and sliced grape tomatoes. SO yummy!

Baby Movement: None really yet. Although sometimes I feel little flutters that could just be rumbling- but maybe since I know what I am looking for, I am feeling it earlier.

Body Changes: I am in that "I can't wear regular jeans but don't look pregnant yet" stage. Basically just knowing that my stomach is growing, and to the rest of the world I just look fat :)

Sleep Habits: Practically none, but that is more because of Jose working night shift than because of the baby in my belly. It's so hard to sleep in an empty bed! I tried to put Micah in with me earlier this week when Jose was working, but I ended up being "snuggled", or kicked, all night :)

What Micah (5) /Levi (15 mos) Think of the Baby: Micah says he wants another boy, because boys are "easier to love" than girls, and more fun. And he doesn't want to have girls stuff everywhere in our house. He also told me that he is glad that I breastfeed, since he thinks "boobies are pretty much epic." No kidding, buddy, wait until you're married someday... Oi vey. Levi has learned how to say baby, and likes to touch a baby doll that I have around the house. He has no clue, obviously, that he will be sharing me in 6 months. Oh, the devastation to ensue...

Baby Prep So Far: None!

Plus Sized, Nursing, and Pregnant: I am currently taking each and every day on it's own. When I look at the grand scheme of things, it's somewhat overwhelming! I am glad that I have learned to have that attitude over the last year of staying at home, because it's taught me that life is too short to freak out about your jeans not fitting, or tandem feeding two babies at once. It's all a blessing, it's all a journey, and I am just along for the ride. I am loving our midwife, and am so excited that Jose is coming with me to my next appointment- hopefully we will hear a loud and strong heartbeat.

She'll be comin round the mountain...

I am finally, finally sitting here with children in bed, ready to process thoughts, after 6 long weeks of nausea, occasional throwing up, and being fatigued like nobodies business. It's been a long mountain to come 'round, but you can see my chariot pulling along...

Today marks the 12 week, good bye First Trimester, hello Second Trimester, finally feeling decent phase! I am owning and praying and hoping the previous statement. I hope to actually be churning out some decent material in the coming weeks. Sorry for the lack of blogging- my hubby was getting on me about it even- but between him working nights, traveling cross country for my grandmother's memorial service, chasing two kids under six years old, and being PREGNANT (hello!) I have been, say, slightly busy at times. I plan on putting up pregnancy updates like I did during Levi's pregnancy, but tonight will include a little of everything and answering questions that people have been raising to me quite frequently over the last two months since we announced a pumpkin coming to the patch.

Aren't you freaking out about having another mouth to feed? This is almost word for word what came out of a friend's mouth two weeks ago after finding out we are expecting. And the answer is, not in the least! We are excited. We consider having children to be on of God's greatest blessings. No, it wasn't super unexpected- we were not trying, but not preventing. Just letting God be in control and trusting. Yes, we know how this happened- apparently we are pretty good at it. And no, I am not getting a job again. We had a pretty firm "It's time for you to stay home, Jay," coming from both of us, and we have made it the last year on one salary just fine. There isn't really any excess, but we are having our needs met and that's all that matters. I don't want to worry about feeding teenagers; I just want to take one day at a time. I breastfeed, so there is no formula to pay for, and we use cloth diapers, which are for the most part completely paid for, and I will use them on our next child. So there really isn't a whole lot of expenses adding up.


Wait, you're planning on nursing? And you're still nursing this one? What?! Yes, and yes. Other than the first few hellish weeks, it gets a LOT better and for me, is way easier. I also know exactly what my child is taking in- the absolute best. With our firstborn, Micah, I only lasted 8 weeks and then he was weaned for a number of reasons, but this time around we are going strong and Levi is 15 months. I don't anticipate any problems. Levi has cut way back on the amount he nurses, and if he decides to completely wean during pregnancy, I won't be heart broken about it. If he does continue, I don't have any problem with tandem nursing. God gave you two boobs, it's not the end of the world :) Besides, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends at least 2 years, and after that as long as both baby and mother are content.

Are you finding out what you're having? Absolutely. I could have a surprise if we already had a girl and had stuff on hand for both, but at this point in my life, I feel like I just want to be as prepared as possible.

Wow...maternity clothes already...Unfortunately, yes. Your body's ligaments and core muscles are already stretched from the first time around, so you show much earlier with each consecutive pregnancy. Micah's baby bump required maternity jeans around 18 weeks. Levi's needed  little more give around 12 weeks. And this time, after 8 weeks I said heck with it. The rubber band trick just isn't cutting it! I haven't gained any weight- in fact, I lost a little, and am still down about 6ish pounds, but just can't fit the jeans from the belly pouch. And I am a belly sleeper! It's starting to get uncomfortable to sleep, so bring on the pillows.

Are you having a shower? A few people have asked me about this, and to be honest, I have no idea. I was always told it was tacky or made you look desperate having a shower after your first baby. That you knew what you were getting into getting pregnant, and you should have looked at your expenses.  But on the other hand, I have had LOTS of friends that have had showers with even 4+ kids. We'll see. If you really want to get us something, I wouldn't turn you down, hah! There are a few things that we will need, but no hugely necessary items right now. Cloth diapering stuff/gift cards to my cloth diaper retailer would be great. Also, we are going to be in need of a new vehicle that can actually fit 2 car seats and a booster, since our current vehicle won't. (I don't expect any one to donate for us getting a vehicle any more than I expect money to fall from the sky into my hand.) And if it's a girl, than of course frilly cute clothes. But for now, I can't tell you if there is going to be anything official or not.

You're....HOMEBIRTH planning? Isn't that dangerous/messy/totally hippy earth mother stuff? Yes, we are planning a home birth with an amazing CNM/ARNP who has almost as many years experience as I have been around. She worked in the military as well as hospitals for many years before becoming tired of the system running over a woman's ability to naturally birth, and did the smart thing and got out. I am a low risk patient- I have had 2 pretty uneventful pregnancies, and pretty uneventful deliveries. I understand there is no pain medicine at home. I didn't have an epidural with either birth, and if I am able to move and be in the bath or shower, if will help the pain greatly. It is perfectly safe; the midwife brings everything short of surgery to the house. And if something happens, I am about 15 minutes to the nearest hospital. It would take that long being in hospital to get an OR prepped if an emergency arose, so I am not too concerned. Another aspect of being prepared for a home birth is that you have extremely thorough prenatal care- much more than the 5 minutes an MD would give you at almost any OBGYN office in the country. Emphasis is placed on healthy lifestyle for mom to produce a healthy baby and an uneventful delivery. Please, if you are concerned, ask me about it, but if you want to bash my husband and I's decision before knowing fully why we are choosing the route we are, keep it to your self. No, I don't plan on eating my placenta for now, I am not a hippy, I don't consider it dangerous with the proper precautions taken, and it's not that messy. Everything is clean before the midwife leaves.

How in the world are you and Jose handling everything? Truth is, we take it one day at a time. It's the only way to handle it- if I look at the big picture, it's all a crazy, messy blur that I can't make out. We are, however, carving out a significant chunk of alone time for the first time in almost a year and a half. We have never left Levi for a night, and Micah has spent a night or two away in the last year, so it's seriously time. We are trying to go on a cruise for the first time ever the week after Easter. And if the finances just can't swing it, than we will just try and priceline a hotel and go away for at least a night or two. The last two times we have attempted something like this, things with the kids or work got in the way and we ended up going to the mall one time and Chili's another. WE NEED TO GET OUT! If we don't before the new baby comes, we won't for the next 2 years. I can see it now...deranged, delusional parents walking around like zombies...

Well, that's all the questions people had for me that I can think of. If you think of anything I forgot, let me know and I will see what I can do :)

We Have An Announcement/ Tenemos Un Anuncio!

We welcome October,

We welcome the fall

Full of orange pumpkins,

Red leaves, and football

It's harvest time,

The farmers will sow

All of the seeds

They worked to grow

But wouldn't you know

A special seed got planted

That takes 9 months

For a wish to be granted

A baby is coming

During harvest will arrive

Our family is growing

From four to five!

Invitamos a octubre

Invitamos al otoño

Lleno de calabaza

Hojas rojas y rastrillando

Es el momento de la cosecha

A sembrar la semilla

A beber la sidra y tener un fuego

Cuando el aire se enfria 

Pero ¿sabes qué?

Una semilla se plantó

Que en nueve meses

Va a estar en nuestros manos

Un bebe ya viene

 Va llegar en otoño

Nuestra familia esta creciendo

Desde cuatro a cinco!

We told our families by making seed packets with the poems printed on the backs.

Another little pumpkin is being added to our patch come this fall.
We are so excited and truly blessed to be adding to our family.
Pray with us for a healthy and uneventful pregnancy, for God's provision,
and for the craziness in our house to be orderly!

Ten Years and Two Missing Kids

Ten years ago yesterday, my future husband passed me a note in our high school library. We had been talking for about a month, and our friends were desperately trying to set us up. And come to think about it, he didn't really pass me a note. I was sitting at a table with my friends, he walked up and handed it to me (folded all cute, oragami style of course), said nothing, and walked away.

It was the basic, high school style note from a guy putting out feelers and trying to figure out if you felt similar before he took the plunge and actually "asked you out." Like a test drive, if you will. But on the back was a question with two boxes:

Would you go out with me? Check yes or no.

I, smiling like a fool because he finally pseudo-worked up the courage to ask me, quickly checked the box yes. I walked across the library where he sat with his group of friends and dropped it on the table, and kept on walking. Later on, he said he was surprised that I checked yes because "it was only a joke, and I had a real plan on how I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend." I say you don't practice purposing to someone, so it was the real deal.

And here we are, ten years later. Seven years of marriage under our belt. Two kids. Four addresses since we got married. Three surgeries (one for me, two for Jose). Weddings. Funerals. Picnics. Pets. Fights. Makeups. Valleys, hills, mountain tops, rocky ground, high roads, and everything in between.

We decided that we deserved a grown up night out by ourselves after all this time. Originally we wanted to go away for a night, but it just wasn't feasible after paying down our big debts, buying a new bed, and the fact that Levi is still not sleeping through the night consistently. I just couldn't do that to my in laws.

Jose worked the night before, so he slept all day. I didn't get to bed until 1am, the kids got up at 6:30am, and I was exhausted, so I took the kids to Jose's parents to keep them for the afternoon so I could rest a little before we went out to dinner. I was to call her later and let her know if we would pick them up or if she should drop them off at our house later. I left there at 2pm, laid down for an hour, and then met a girl I am mentoring for a little while. I called Jose's mom to check in at 5pm on the way home, and got a weird disconnected sound.

Not thinking anything of it, I continued on home and got Jose up. We didn't end up leaving until close to 6pm to drive towards Outback for dinner. I should have known our night was going up in flames. We were told it was going to be an hour and a half wait despite call ahead, so we left there and went toward Stuart to find a restaurant. Nearing 7pm, we decided to call Jose's parents and check in. No answer from Jose's mom. No answer from Jose's dad. Both numbers say they are disconnected. We try 3 different restaurants. Hour wait. Way too under dressed. Extremely expensive.

By now, I have hardly had any sleep, haven't eaten in 7 hours, can't get a hold of anyone watching our kids, and have had 4 restaurant disasters, so I started to fall apart in the parking lot. Jose could feel it, and was thoroughly agitated at his parents, so we left and headed towards their house to check on the kids. We pulled up to an empty house, lights off, no one home. I am ready to panic at this point. It's 7:30pm, I haven't talked to anyone since 2. Disconnected every time we call. Jose starts to drive to our house in case they are there. On the way, I remember that Micah said something about Chuckie Cheese (another blog for another day- one of my most hated places)- so I call there and they are being paged. No one fits their description.

We pull up to our house at 8pm, and no one is there either. We leave a note on the door: "If you get here, go to your house. CHECK YOUR PHONES, PLEASE." We head back to Jose's parents to wait. He says if they aren't there by 9pm, we are calling the police because we have no idea where our kids are, and can't contact any one. The worst starts running through my mind, especially since my in laws speak pretty broken English. What if there was an accident? They have no phone to call an ambulance...Nine o'clock comes and goes. Jose and I are on our knees in his parent's living room, asking for peace for us and protection for our babies...and protection for Jose's parents, that we don't kill them when they get there.

The truck rolls into the driveway at 9:30, nearly 7 1/2 hours since I kissed my little goblins goodbye and left them in hands that I trust. After all the events, Jose and I were mentally and physically exhausted. We were also enraged at Jose's parents. They forgot to pay their bill and got their phones cut off, and because they didn't think to ever call us and check in, they never checked their phones.

It could have ended so much worse. Every situation running through my mind could have been a reality. We rode home with two gorgeous boys sleeping in their seats, one kid sized and one bite sized, worn out from a date with the greedy, gambling, giant rat. We rode almost silently, hands laced and fingers gripped tight, thanking God that our babies were safe. Hunger paled, exhaustion didn't matter, they were safe.

I have no idea what it would have been like had things ended differently to our night, but I know one thing: we would weather it together, best friends, hand picked for each other by a God who has amazing plans for us. Ten years later, and a million hard moments, we were able to take a stress that could have decimated a couple and push right through.

I love you, Jose, and wouldn't change a moment we have had together. The naysayers came and went saying we were too young to get married, and where are they now? Standing in awe at how strong our love is.

Oh, The Little Things

This week has been full of "little things" that have greatly swung our course in one direction or the other.  

"Human felicity is produced not as much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen as by little advantages that occur every day." - Benjamin Frankin

Levi and I have started, very gently, to wean. I made it a year of breastfeeding exclusively and have since introduced cows milk. It was a HUGE milestone for us! I can't imagine any better way to have cemented a bond with my child- his name means "Attached; Joined in Harmony" in Hebrew. I couldn't have picked it better. I don't plan on weaning on any kind of time frame- baby led weaning allows for the child to do it at their own pace, when they are comfortable with it. He is nursing between 4-6 times during the day and 1 time at night, which is a huge improvement from before. We introduced cow's milk, and he loves it! We may keep going for another year, he may be done in 2 weeks, I have no idea- but I know I will let him stop when he is ready.

We are inching towards our "down with the debt" resolution. Our goals at the beginning of the year included no credit card debt, no car debt, and knocking down my student loan by 25%. Yesterday, we paid off our car and one credit card. One hefty card, one pretty slim card, and we are done. As a family, though, we are going to be pulling off some pretty "big ticket" things this year: a trip to Spain for a month, possibly a new vehicle (something that can seat 7, our little Santa Fe is just getting too cramped), and a few other things to be mentioned in future posts.

Jose and I got a new bed. This has been SUCH a long time coming. We joked before that we slept in a hammock because it sagged so much. Flipping your mattress every 5 days because your back needs a break is really just TOO much. So we too a little left over tax return money (thanks, Uncle Sam!) and headed to our favorite home goods store, no I say mecca: IKEA. It is our serendipity. We stumbled in with our friends Jess and Tommy on a weekend with friends at their house, and have never been the same.  Anywho, we went with a memory foam core mattress. We can trade it for something else in the next 90 days if we don't like it, and it has a 25 year warranty. I don't think you can go wrong there...

Unless you spend $600 over budget and have to take it all back. Every stinkin' time! It's like grocery shopping when you haven't eaten for 4 days and are drooling over every thing you see. We went for a mattress, and ended up getting a new bed (with the under bed slats that are able to customize how firm it feels, don't you know), a mattress cover, a blanket, a duvet cover set, a sheet set, and "OOOOO! Shiny! Let's get two of those"... "Oh wait, I haven't seen these in forever, I HAVE to have them"..."I hate that we don't have any dishes that match. We are down to 5 plates, and Levi broke another cup today. What do you think of these?"

Originally, we thought we were absolutely fine picking up extras. But when we got home, we discovered that two big checks we thought had cleared were actually floating around in bank space somewhere...so that meant loading every single box back into the Santa Fe - actually inside, because it was raining today- loading the kids in, and driving 2 hours to Orlando to take everything back. The boxes were so large on the bed we bought that I was driving, and could not see anything on the right side of the car. Jose joked that we were on that show "Blind Date" from the 90's because we couldn't see each other. In order for me to change lanes, Jose had to verbally guide me and I had to totally trust him because I had no way to look out a window or a mirror other than the windshield. Awesome, but crazy experience.

This week has been one of new discoveries, tears, worries, wondering how we will do it all, how we will make it, good news, bad news, and everything in between.... But I rest in this: 

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. "Matthew 6: 25-26, 30-34, The Message

Breakneck

 I am aching for a different pace.

I see other mothers and, at first thought, am slightly jealous. Manicured lawns, no dishes in the sink. Leather couches with not a mark on them. Soft spoken children, never out of line, and never a toy misplaced. Husband always happy, dinner always organic and made from scratch, hair always perfect.

On second thought, I wonder what they are sedating their children with (hah!). Or what fairy takes away their dishes. Or why their children never jump on the couch. Or their beds. Or my bed. Why do they have everything together? How? And work? And clean? And and and?

Then I look at other ways of life. The style that I ache for: simplification. I long for a yard that doesn't need manicured, because it's full of tall grass, wild flowers, and stretches to meet the prairies and the mountains. I yearn for children that are exhausted at the end of the day because they have been in the garden gathering, in the trees climbing, in the barn exploring. I would love to bake bread every day, spend all day in an apron, and have kids that don't know what TV is. Or why there was a car bomb in another country. Or think that we can only buy Colgate because it "makes our smiles sexy." (Yes, my 5 year old said that.)

Someday, when we are older and more financially able to, I think we will be inching our way out of the surburban life style.

I just can't help but think that as a society, we are missing out on the pleasures of life. To me, those things are primarily to love the Lord and know Him personally...to be best friends with your mate...to raise your darlings up the best way you know how...to enjoy creation...and not let the world whiz by you at light speed.

For now I am stuck being half way crunchy: breastfeeding, cloth diapering, composting for the garden we don't have, and giving our kids a great but non traditional education. I am giving up trying to pretend that I can get it all done. If you come to my house, prepare your self for crayons everywhere, sticky floors, sticky faces, sticky hands, dirty dishes, laundry on the couch, and kids that will melt your heart.

It's just not worth working at breakneck speed to me.