Sunday, October 31, 2010

These Times, They Are A Changing...

A day in the life of a pregnant heifer/mother of a preschooler means absolutely NO time for anything, so I am sure you can all forgive me for not posting for 2 weeks. And if you can't, then maybe you would care to rub my little sausage toes and swollen feet while I type. Or get me my second glass of water all day. Or just let me pee in peace... There will be the typical update for 26ish weeks after the doc on Tuesday.

*(Putting my feet up on the computer desk as we speak)*

This may end up as a vent, but some times venting gives you clarity about what you should do. You know, clears your head from all the mumbo jumbo lying around in there, and lets you see it for what it really is. So here goes.

I have really struggled the last 2 weeks, and that is part of the reason why I have not posted anything. Mostly, I have been wresting the bears of feeling like and inadequate parent, feeling like I am just a maid in my own home, and feeling SO overwhelmed--that in roughly three months it will be "baby makes 4", and the madness will ensue.

I am currently working part time as a nurse. Two shifts a week, and each shift is usually 12-13 hours. Jose (THANK GOD) is graduated, and working his tail off as a trauma nurse at the local trauma hospital, and is doing a mighty fine job of it if I do say so my self. Let me give you an idea of the last week:

Sunday- 14 hour shift
Monday- called in on my day off, 6 hours 
Tuesday-cleaning like crazy, keeping Micah quiet because Jose works at night and has to sleep,  band practice
Wednesday-keeping Micah busy while Jose sleeps during the day, Jose works at night, youth group
Thursday- keeping Micah busy while Jose sleeps again, Jose works again at night, Micah is at the grandparents
Friday-I work day shift, Jose sleeps all day, he goes in to work, and I get off after him and pick up Micah
Saturday- Catch up day, grocery shop, bills, keep Micah busy, Jose works at night
Sunday (today)- I work all day, Jose goes in tonight, thankfully my parents watched Micah while I was working. 

How this is in any way conducive to keeping a child in a routine, or keeping a marriage healthy, is beyond me. Micah kissed Jose in the morning Thursday before Jose went to bed to sleep for work, and has not seen him all weekend, and won't until tomorrow at 7:30am when Jose off. I know it's only for a season, and I know Jose is trying to move to day shift, and that at least he has work in today's economy...BUT...I just desire to have consistency and peace in my house- not be left trying to keep my head above water whilst the house is falling apart around me, having an almost 4 year old rebelling because he misses his daddy, and feeling constantly drained while being asked for more, more, more.

I know for sure I am taking my full 12 weeks off. And I know I am a nurse that is pretty good at what I do. I like it, I love my patients, and I want to stay active in medicine. But I am having such a hard time rationalizing going back even 2 days a week, especially if Jose is working nights. We talked about it last night, and I think I will maybe work every other weekend or so, just to get out and keep my self current, but then I can actually stay home and be a mommy most of the time. When I had Micah, I went back to school 5 days a week and working 35 hours a week when he was 8 weeks old-- and I never got to just be Mommy, and relish my time at home with him. I am so torn- I love my profession, and don't want to quit, but I love my family more. 

Besides, I am really getting excited about doing all the mommy stuff again. For instance, I got a really cool (almost sexy) nursing wrap that I am so excited to use: 

 And last time I hardly had the chance to breastfeed, and I wanted to so badly. All of the work and stress from going back when he was 8 weeks dried me up after a week, so I want to do everything I can this time to do it for longer because it truly is the best gift you can give your baby that early. I am excited about diapering with my cute cloth diapers and saving a boat load of money. I am excited about him and Micah getting to know each other. I am excited to get a dog for them some day. And excited about late nights, and crying, and colic, and everything that comes with being a mom. 

So I think in the coming months, I will be hanging my hat on being a nurse except a couple days a month to keep active with my license and what is happening in the hospital. Besides, I will have enough of my own nursing to do. At home. With my new cool wrap :)

Friday, October 8, 2010

Week 23/24 Update

How Far Am I: 23 Weeks, 4 days...Monday marks 6 months down!

Baby's Name/Sex: It's a boy! Levi Mateo Molinuevo should be coming to meet us sometime in January.

How Much Weight Have I Gained: Net: - 3. From 20-24 weeks I have basically gained 1 pound. Not to shabby so far :) Near the end, you gain it so much fatter. I mean faster...heheh.

Baby Movement: This little guy definitely takes after his brother Micah. I have never once gotten to feel the gentle, graceful, wave like movements. It's always been jabs or pokes or jumps or hiccups from the beginning! Jose laughs when my belly is perfectly still, and then jerks like a hamster under a blanket. World, be prepared for another child who is 110% boy...

Feeling Pregnant:  I am finally moving out of that stage where you don't look pregnant, you just look fat. I have a shirt that says "We're hungry," and I actually felt comfortable wearing it and looking pregnant, instead of looking like an overweight schizophrenic wearing one of those third-person shirts. I love that it's getting awkward to shave my legs, and that at work no one wants me to move a patient. Come on, it's not like he is going to pop out, right?!

What Micah Thinks of the Baby:  "Levi and me are going to be bestest brothers." "Mom, can we save my toys for Levi?" "Does Levi love me yet?" He wants to know about Levi ALL DAY LONG, which is actually a huge relief for me. I know at this age some children can become extremely jealous, and he has been the total opposite! Funny of the week, as we are leaving to go to West Palm Beach:

"MOM!!! Did you pack Levi?"
"Yes, he is already in my belly and set to go."
"Is he safe and warm?"
"Okay, lets go already!"

Baby Prep So Far:  I have all my old bottles washed and sterilized, and got my breast pump out and made sure it was in working order. Yeah, I am old school and like to do things natural.So shoot me :)  I think God did a great job inventing a way for us to give our babies the best possible nutrition, and I am so excited to do it again! I want to nurse longer this time. Last time I got cut short- but that's what going back to school with an 8 week old infant will do to you. Starting to get cloth diapering stuff figured out, and we got Micah's old cloths out to see what we need. The next 2 weeks are going to involve laying down new flooring in our house, and once that is done, moving around furniture and making Levi's room livable!

Plus Sized and Pregnant: I am very proud to say that I went to my endocrinologist this week and she is pleased with my progress. My weight gain has been fine (they were concerned that I wasn't gaining enough in the beginning from so much vomiting, but that's typical for me). My blood sugar has been fine- I think I am more paranoid about me becoming a diabetic that my doctor is . My thyroid is stable. And I feel fantastic! I swear, I look great on paper. I am just a svelte hot mom in a little extra padding for safe keeping :)