I Am Not A Sparrow...I Am Cherished!!!

I have to preface this post with a story. We are going to the past, then to the present, then to the future...Hang on! Several friends and family have asked our needs for our current situation with a new baby coming. This is my attempt to gracefully lay aside my embarrassment, and trust that God will provide for us like He has always been so faithful to do.

The above picture was taken in March, 2009. This morning will be forever cemented in my memory. Jose and I had been searching for a house to buy for nearly 6 months. We had made close to 10 offers on houses, all with problems in the contracts or with inspections. Our landlord decided 3 weeks before our year contract was up, after saying we could go month-to-month while we searched for a house, that she didn't like that idea any more. March 15th we had to be out and that was that. We were totally stressing- nowhere to live, Jay leaving on a mission trip in 10 days, and ultimately having to give everything over to prayer and trust.

We had a huge blessing from the Lord- a friend had a rental house that she had just renovated, was empty, and would charge us $300 less a month while we looked for a house. We moved in those 3 weeks, and stayed there for 6 weeks. We lived out of boxes, eating off paper plates and plastic silverware, never knowing when the day would come that we would find the house and get to move. I took all that stress on the mission trip to Smyrna, TN with me; Jose stayed home with Micah and had to deal with nursing school finals.

Thursday morning, I awoke to the sun at close to 5:30 am. Since my students would not be up for an hour and a half, I bundled up for the 30 degree weather, grabbed and mp3 player and my camera, and set off. I walked and prayed and snapped pictures that morning, listening to worship music and really just soaking in...when I felt the Lord speaking to me. At first, it was strange to me that I was being followed by birds. I would go to take a picture of a barren tree, covered in frost, when a robin or a sparrow would fly into my viewfinder the moment I would snap the picture. They were singing, frolicking around in the glistening frozen wonderland, having a ball. I kept walking near a stream bed, and the robins were constantly coming in to my field of vision. Over my head. Chasing each other. I went to tie my shoe on a bench, bent over, and a sparrow landed on the arm of the bench and just sat, looking at me, cocking her head and wondering what on Earth I was doing up so early.

I began to feel God speaking the words of Jesus to me:

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:25-34, NLT, emphasis mine)

It all began to make sense to me. I decided that crisp morning to quit worrying about it. To give over to God what was rightly His, and make it no more of my concern. The perfect house would come along. And if the robins and sparrows could enjoy their beautiful sunrise, despite the cold, and be fed and clothed, wouldn't God provide for Jose and I?

I got back, work my girls up, and started setting up for breakfast while talking to our leader and close friend. I told him of my walk that morning, what I felt God speak to me, and told him I was giving it up. It felt good to share with someone what God was doing. And then, at 9:30 am as we were rolling out to head to a medical mission site, things got interesting.

I got a call from Jose, and the first words of the conversation were, "Hey baby. Just wondering, how much do you trust me?" "Why?" "Because I found the house for us. Can I put in an offer?"  Our leader could hear our conversation, and his mouth was hanging open. So was mine. I stammered that he could do whatever he felt led to do, provided that he pray about it. I got a call the next morning that closing was in 4 weeks, the bank accepted our offer, and it was ours.

Fast forward to the present. We have gone from two salaries to one; and are going from a family of three to a family of five. Jose had no paycheck this summer for nearly 6 weeks as he went from one job to the next. Then orientation was pushed back two weeks for the new job; and we went again for 2 more weeks without any income. We have been down to $8.00 at one point, both credit cards maxed, and no food in the cupboards. And I have been asked by family, why didn't you ask for help? My answer is this: God has always, always provided for us. I have never doubted that He would. Yes, it's been a little tight-rope-walker intense at times, but God has never not come through. At the right time, we have been given groceries. A friend gave me a huge tote of maternity clothing; I haven't bought new clothing in years, and it was SO awesome! We have had last minute invites for dinner at someone's house. We had a garage sale that may have been horrid by society's standards- a total of $82- but it was the exact amount to the DOLLAR we needed to put gas in our car, buy groceries, and tithe. Our needs have been met, and that's what was promised to us from God's word. We are seeking to live righteously, train up our kids and give them examples of God's provision, trying to be servants to other people when we can, and trusting that everything is going to come through okay.

And one interesting side note: we went through a period in the last year where we stopped tithing because we were just too tight. And you know what? Our needs stopped being met. We couldn't make ends meet; our bills became delinquent; and we became more stressed than ever. I just can't believe in coincidence! My God is one of purpose and faithfulness! So yes, when told that not asking for help can be because of pride (which is sin), I agree- but my motive to keep things to my self has often not been pride. It's been that we are giving God room to actually be God.

Fast forward to today's needs. I don't believe that I am having a shower for this baby. At 32 weeks pregnant, I am sure that someone would have said something by now if I were going to. So, at the request of a few family and friends, I am putting our family's needs out there for this next baby coming and for the near future. The biggest of them are prayer needs, others are tangible; what ever comes our way we are truly thankful and grateful for. We desperately desire your prayers first and foremost! Here are some practical ways that you could help if you feel so led to:

• Pray with us that our vehicle sells. This will help us catch back up on a few bills that we are in need of, as well as help finish paying for our home birth fees.
• Pray with us that we can find a vehicle that will fit all 5 of us for a decent (and by that I mean CHEAP!) price. We will probably resort to saving up and purchasing a new vehicle a few months after the baby comes. We are looking for a van, but in the mean time we will be driving our Escort as a one car family until that opportunity can come along.
• Meals after the baby comes. Whether that be boxes of mac 'n cheese or other easy cook items that I can put in my pantry ahead of time, or a hot meal that someone drops off, it would be a blessing. Jose can't hardly cook anything other than microwave popcorn, and I know with me being down a week or so after having the baby and him chasing a toddler and a 5 year old, dinner will be the last thing on our list.
• Cloth diapering supplies. We have a gift registry of sorts set up at one of the sites where we purchase our diapering supplies from. You can find the registry here, through cloth supply retailer Kelly's Closet.. Search by our last name, Molinuevo, and it should come up:  "Jay and Jose's New Pumpkin." The passcode is holimoli, if you are prompted. Feel free to wander the site; our registry should have anything we would ever need or want, but there are some COOL diapering supplies out there and we will use anything!
• Cloth nursing pads would be a life saver. The best ever are Bamboobies (haha!!), and you can find them on our registry, or purchase them wherever you like.
• Gift cards to Publix, Walmart, or Amazon for picking up groceries or baby supplies that we are forgetting now but will need later... Things like food, pacifiers, breast milk storage bags, etc.  The gift cards to Amazon would go towards a new infant car seat that we have had our eye on. It's a specially made narrow version for compact cars :)  Wow, two in car seats and one in a booster- how crazy!
• We have several supplies that we need for our birth coming up (we are having a planned home birth with an amazing midwife). These include the following: our birth kit (medical supplies, ordered from our midwife's supplier, about $45), extra sheet sets (king sized- I would gladly take hand me downs!), a few extra pillows, and a plastic drop cloth or king sized mattress protector for the bed. There is also a chunk of the actual birth expenses that need paid, but if our Santa Fe sells, it will all be paid for.

Things that we don't need much of are disposable diapers, formula (we are a breastfeeding family), and  baby shoes. For some odd reason, every one buys us baby shoes, but our kids tend to have fat feet, and HATE having shoes on until they are walking, so I have literally 2 boxes of baby shoes that I have given to friends or CareNet.

Hopefully this update has done a few things. First, I hope you see a little in to my windows as to why I have keep quiet about our needs and our financial situation over the last few months. Second, I hope it serves as a testimony to what God is able to do when you put your trust in Him. Thirdly, I hope you will pray for us and with us that our needs are met. And as always, please let Jose and I know if you have any prayer or other needs that we can help you out with. It's great to have other people bless you, but it is such a blessing to be able help our family and friends too!

30 Week Update

Look at that bladder! No wonder I have to go all the time!

How Far Am I: As of today, 30 weeks, 5 days. Three quarters of the way done!
Baby's Gender: Again, looks like another niño on the horizon, but we would be stoked if there was a surprise that we weren't expecting.
How Much Weight Have I Gained: +12 at last count I think. I am a little unnerved about this- it's my first pregnancy where I haven't lost 15+lbs throwing up, and slowly gained it back. Needless to say, at this point in the pregnancy I am carrying more weight .
Cravings: Water. I am noticing that running around after two little ones and keeping the house somewhat under control means that I forget to drink half the day...then when it's after their bedtime, and I notice my feet are a little swollen and I haven't peed in 4 hours, I remember to drink. The bad thing about this is that then I am up all night going to the bathroom.
Baby Movement: This baby is either going to be a VERY relaxed baby, or is a girl. Micah and Levi had nunchucks in the womb, and I was constantly sucking in my breath because out of nowhere, I would get a jab in the ribs that H. U. R. T. With this pregnancy, I am feeling lots of movement, just in a much more subdued way.
Body Changes: Nothing major lately. A little itchy on the belly so I am lotioning up. Braxton Hicks every once in a while, usually induced by nursing. My only other complaint is from me not drinking enough, or if I eat something that is too salty- I notice a little swelling in my hands/feet. But so far, if that happens, I drink a bunch and put my feet up for a little bit or lay on my side. I am avoiding heartburn pretty well by paying attention to what and when I eat. Jose and I have started a prenatal pilates video that kicks our butts, and I am really praying that it helps with my concentration, breathing, endurance, and flexibility.  
Sleep Habits: Sleep becomes a little more interesting at this time. I am exhausted by the end of the day, so I am sleeping pretty well, just having to get up probably twice to use the bathroom. The interesting part is coming from these bizarre pregnancy dreams. 
What Micah (5) /Levi (18 mos) Think of the Baby: Levi pats my belly and says "bebe," but I doubt he really connects that there is going to be a baby around at this point. He is a little perturbed that mommy's milk is "ah gone" for now, but I think he will pick back up with the new baby. Micah helped us settle on a name for the baby, and is getting excited. He is also realizing that he is the "biggest big brother" now, and that holds a lot of responsibility. 
Baby Prep So Far: I made about 60+ more cloth baby wipes this week, and Jose and I went through our room and are getting rid of TONS of clothing, junk, etc that we have been hanging on to. It's pretty much happening to the whole house- I just can't take the "stuff" we have held on to being around the house forever, so we are purging a lot and donating or having a garage sale with lots of it. I don't know if that's considered baby prep, but it sure is the beginning of nesting. On the list for the next few weeks is deep cleaning bathrooms, floors, getting rid of Jose and I's bedroom set, getting our room situated for a home birth, and generally making sure we have what we need for the next baby. There's not a lot we need, just a few things, but it's hard when you're on a tight budget, so we are trying to just pick up a few little things here and there on sale, or make what ever we can.
Birth Prep: More reading, positive thinking, relaxation exercises, pilates, and healthy eating. We are getting ready to purchase our home birth supply kit in the next few weeks, and get the house ready with every thing on hand for our birth. It's starting to become real!
Name Ideas: We have settled on a name for a boy, and have picked out a girl name as a back up just in case we have any surprises. Jose has a feeling that a few members of his family won't like the name (they are weird about some things), so he has said that we are not officially announcing the name until the baby is here, because he doesn't want to deal with hearing all of their opinions for the next 2-3 months. If you really want to know, I could probably sneak it to you, but out of respect for his wishes... mums the word :)
Plus Sized, Nursing, and Pregnant: Some days I end up exhausted. Others, discouraged that I couldn't manage to get it all done. But I am starting to realize that I am 7 months pregnant with a 5 and 1 1/2 year old. At the end of the day, if my kids are fed, clean, have teeth brushed, and are tucked into their beds, I just have to call it success and ignore the floors that need vacuumed...the pile of dishes...the grass that needs mowed...and on and on. If I continue to dwell on every little thing that I as one person can not accomplish, it will eat me alive. Instead, I am focusing on the small victories. And if that means making the dishes wait until morning while I hit the sack half an hour early, than so be it. With just over 2 months to go in my pregnancy, nursing, and being a stay at home mom to two rowdy munchkins already, I just have to pace my self.

Last Week of the Second Trimester!

How Far Am I: 27 weeks pregnant today! Our baby is roughly the size of a cauliflower. I, on the other hand, am not.

Baby's Gender: Most likely a boy, but surprises have happened before :) We are anticipating a boy based on the last ultrasound, not looking again because we don't want to expose our little one to too much radiation unnecessarily, and if we have a surprise...wahoo for that too!

How Much Weight Have I Gained: +7 lbs total. I gained 2 lbs in the last 4 weeks. So far, my weight gain has been on target. My previous pregnancies I gained a total of 12 and 15 lbs respectively, and I am being extra careful not to go overboard this time around either.

Cravings: None whatsoever. Other than a piece of chocolate now and then...but isn't that most women, regardless of their womb status?! That, and fresh fruits/veggies. It's summer, so snap peas, cherries, and peaches are on the counter frequently to snack on.

Baby Movement: This baby is not as active in an, "I emulate a ninja" sort of way. Micah and Levi were both killer to my bladder and rib cage. Maybe I am just not far enough for this baby to be really wreaking havoc, but he (possibly she) seems much more mellow. Plenty of movement, just not so, how should I say, rambunctious.

Body Changes: My belly is starting to itch once in a while from the skin stretching, but I am combating that with coconut oil and lotion pretty often. I use face and eye cream, so after my shower at night, the rest of me just gets slathered up. I am having less round ligament pain, but am having to shift more at night while sleeping. I have had one or two little twinges of sciatic pain, which happened in the latter segments with both of our other kiddos, but both times it was from lifting things. Other than that, the only real complaint that I have is I am HOT! I have never been in the tail end of my pregnancy when it has been so hot (December and January kiddos), and I swear- I have never sweat so much in my life. By the way- I passed my OGTT with flying colors (my glucose was 87 at the one hour mark), and my hemoglobin was great- not anemic- so things are going well! My endocrinologist is monitoring my synthetic thyroid medication well, and I am currently taking prenatal vitamins, calcium, magnesium, vitamin D, probiotics, and occasional iron supplements. Hopefully my nutritional work will pay off and keep any harm from coming our way.

26 1/2 week bump

Sleep Habits: I am tired quite a bit lately. Keeping up with everything at home, two rugrats, being pregnant, and breastfeeding still definitely wears me out. I am mentally ready to hit the sack around 10 or earlier, but my body being so hot...tossing and turning...it seems I can't fall asleep until close to midnight. Jose is moving to day shift starting the week of July 24th, so hopefully having him home consistently at night will help me sleep a little deeper.

What Micah (5) /Levi (16 mos) Think of the Baby: Micah has been given the job (if he is present during the birth) of announcing the sex of the baby, and telling me what color the baby's hair is when they are descending. I figured that giving him a job to do would help take any "scariness" out of it, and make him feel important and included in the event if he is here. He is quite excited about that.

The bump is definitely more pronounced with Levi perched on top!

Baby Prep So Far: I started today on sewing more baby wipes (I got a good deal on flannel at Target). It's the first step of MANY that need to take place. I don't think it's quite set in that in 10-14 weeks or so we will be adding a family member. We also need to order new car seats that will fit in to the back seat of our Escort. The SUV is in the process of being sold (please pray it sells!), and if we don't have a bigger vehicle by the time baby comes, we will all be cramming in the little blue car. We were able to find great steel-framed car seats (VERY durable) that are much skinnier than average car seats, so our back seat will accommodate them. It's just a matter of deciding if we want to do the whole infant seat thing again, or just go with the one that is rear or forward facing for long term use. Decisions, decisions.

Birth Prep: More reading, more praying, more stocking my head full of positive birth stories/ scriptures/ affirmations to remember during labor. I have the exercise ball blown up and I am sitting on it and stretching every day. I ordered a new pregnancy Pilates video that will be here next week- I am SO excited about it. I really want my core, back, and pelvis to be in the best shape possible to aid in natural delivery. I have yet to clean our room out and rearrange things, but I am sure that will come in time. We are almost half way on paying down our home birth sum, which is exciting for us. We are having to cut a lot of expenses in order to come up with the money for our birth choice, but we really feel it's worth it. You put your money, time, and efforts towards things that are important to you. And this is something truly important to me.

Name Ideas: We are flip flopping. I have a friend who delivered her baby today, and he is still not named. I have a feeling that will be our situation in the near future. Jose and I are currently on the following trend, and it's likely to change by tomorrow:

• Jordi David- Jordi is a Spanish variation of Jordan. The name means "descending," and is significant in the Bible as being the place that Jesus was baptized...that John baptized...that feeds the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea...where Joshua crossed to Jericho... and so much more. It is an cherished resource for those living near it. We also thought it was fitting because our midwife Jyl's practice is Descending Dove Midwifery Services. We thought we could honor our first home birth with her, as well as pray for a baby that descends supernaturally, quickly, and with relative ease. (Jose's input- Jordi Alba was instrumental in Spain's winning the Euro Cup last month too). David traditionally means "beloved" in Hebrew. It would be a nod to King David, a man with faults, but still a man after God's own heart, as well as after a dear friend of ours- we cherish his friendship like he is a brother, and look up to his walk with the Lord.
• Jordi Iker: Again, Jordi for the above reasons, and Iker (pronounced "eeek-air" in Spanish)... well, because Jose has always loved the name, and because Iker Casillas is Spain's one-of-a-kind keeper.
• Luka Cristiano- Luka means "bringer of light," and Cristiano means "bearer of Christ". Enough said- we want our child to emulate both of those things
• Noah Declan- Noah means "peaceful; restful one," (who WOULDN'T want that in a child?!) and Declan is an Irish name meaning "man of prayer." Again, pretty self-explanatory.

We have a girl name picked out just as a back up: Nora Celeste Molinuevo. My dad made fun of Celeste because it rhymes with incest and molest, but Mom and Dad had the chance to name us weird names, and now we have ours. I mean, the only other Janece's I have ever met are black. I give the other Janece's props, because they are the only people who ever say my name right on the first time without me pronouncing it.


Plus Sized, Nursing, and Pregnant:  I have never been one to wear dresses. Or shave my legs very often because of the above reason. But because it's SO darn hot (like over 90 every day), and I have only 2 pairs of shorts that I can wear, I am wearing dresses more. The shorts are too hideous to really wear anywhere other than the grocery store, so when I put on the dresses, Jose is always telling me how cute I look with the belly, and that he feels bad that he's not dressed up. I don't want to be dressed up, and I don't feel like I look cute- I feel like an overheating walrus- but it's so nice to hear from him. As for nursing, Levi is pretty much weaning him self. He nurses anywhere from 0-3 times a day, and not always for nap or bed time. For the most part, he lets me know when he needs it, and it's not ever for more than a few minutes (sometimes 30 seconds or less) and he is done. I think at this point it's more for security and checking in with me than anything. He just wants reassured that if he wants to he can, and that mommy is not going to leave him. I have a feeling that when the new baby brings him the gift of milk again, he will pick right back up. But again, I am letting him go at his own pace, and not pushing him to wean or to nurse more frequently. One day at a time, friends.

Tidbits: Oh, the things they do...and say...

The last 10 days have been a whirlwind, yet I count every day as a blessing. In doing discipleship with a friend this week, we got to talking about John 21:11-13:

 Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish.

So many times, we miss the little miracles. Yeah, we get the big ones all around these verses- Jesus raises from the dead, appears to the disciples (this is the 3rd time), Peter walks on water, the nets were full of fish... But...Dd you see it? The nets- not broken, not torn, no repair needed. Let's completely low ball it- a good friend's husband says 5 lbs per fish, think 450 lbs. And John tells us they are "large fish, 153," to be exact- no small feat! But do we see a parable attached? Do we see the disciples falling on their faces, in adoration for their Lord, and that the nets didn't tear? Nope. We look over the little things so often. Jesus simply made them breakfast in their awe.

I am making it a point to recognize the little things. To know that, while my kids are young, boisterous, and rebellious at times, it will pass. That yeah, we can't always pay bills on time, but we have each other. We are healthy. We have a roof over our heads. We believe in  God that is so many things to us- Creator, Redeemer, Provider, Counselor, and so much more!

So here are the tidbits from the last 10 days or so...Enjoy!

Levi is fascinated with what makes him a boy, and that his brother has one too.  Tonight, the kids were in the bath together...Micah is trying to have "relaxation" and is basically meditating. He has decided that the bath tub is the perfect place to lay down, close his eyes, sink in, and forget he has a mom to listen to. While he was under with his eyes closed, Levi was trying to rip Micah's floating, um, goods off. I tell Levi that "pee pees are not for touching" and try to distract him. I tell Micah to sit up unless he wants to end up in pain. I pop out to get towels, and then I turn around and Micah has a set of stacking cups in the most appropriate of areas for "ultimate protection" and Levi is laughing hysterically. Oh, my boys...

I am really starting to notice my body changing.  We are really trying to avoid using our dryer much, and Jose's mom gave us a dryer cleaning kit to help our old machine along. I got all gun-ho about using it, started taking the dryer apart, and got in WAY over my head. I tried to move the dryer (what was I thinking?!) to get behind it and just started laughing at my self. Like I could fit back there and bend over, hah! I had to call Jose in for back up, who was just shaking his head at me the whole time. Wait until I start nesting...

 I think the dog is going into heat, and she took it out on our bathroom floor. Oh my goodness...that one was a huge mess. When she goes in heat (this is the second time), she gets diarrhea before hand. We went out all morning running errands, and when we came home it was like a war zone in our bathroom. Jose has bowel issues since having his gall bladder out, and he was in the boys bathroom probably 5 times doing his thing. At the same time, I was up to my elbows in bleach, towels, and black trash bags trying to contain the Hazmat situation on our floor. Thank God it was on tile, not the carpet!

God provided Jose with a new job!  In case you didn't hear, Jose accepted a position as a Medical/Peds/Onc nurse at St. Lucie Medical Center. He starts his orientation on July 10. And it's DAYS! I am so excited to have a husband that is able to sleep in the same bed as me again, and not have to keep the kids corralled on one side of the house and shushed up. God is so good!

And last but not least, I'll throw in a funny breastfeeding joke for kicks: 
The night before, Jose had woken Levi up while checking on him,  and I had to nurse him back to sleep forever. The next night went like this:

Me: If you wake Levi up, I am going to make you pay with YOUR boobs.
Jose: I can't pay. I have insufficient funds. Buahahahaha.

Oh, baby. You're lucky you're suave.

Creating Your Birth Plan

A few weeks ago, I was asked to help teach a class at our local CareNet, which is a Christ-centered crisis pregnancy center. There was two topics for me to teach that night: Creating Your Birth Plan, and Coping Measures During Labor. Tonight, I give you the first section that I wrote. SO much to think about!

Creating Your Birth Plan

What is a birth plan? Put plain and simple, a birth plan is a way to communicate your wishes to the doctors, nurses, and midwives who will care for you during labor and delivery. It is not something that is set in stone; it simply lets them know your preferences. Remember that things can (and sometimes do) go wrong, and it is important to try and be flexible when that happens in order to best protect your wellbeing and your baby’s. It is something that is optional, not required, for you to bring with you to the hospital. It is best to start writing your plan and have your preferences figured out BEFORE you go in to labor! If you are unsure about a certain procedure during labor and delivery, be sure to ask your midwife or doctor.


How do I prepare to write one?
The best way is to do your research before you write one. Ask questions to women you know and trust will give you good advice about child birth. Stay away from seeking opinions from women you know who will only give you horror stories about their birth. Research what interventions are commonly done at hospitals or birthing centers in your area (epidurals, episiotomies, C-sections, forceps, IV accesses, external fetal monitoring, and the like). An intervention is anything that does not occur during natural, healthy delivery. For example, Lawnwood Regional Medical Center has a 44% cesarean section rate, and most area hospitals are close to 100% on the intervention rate: you can't even get away without an IV unless you sign an "Against Medical Advice" (AMA) waiver. Again, if you don’t understand much about a procedure, then ask! Once you understand what an intervention is, what it’s risks or benefits are, and how they affect your labor, you can make a better decision about if it’s right for you and your baby. Also remember to talk with the people you plan on having with you during labor. Your husband or support partner may have opinions about how he or she thinks labor should go. It’s a team effort to have a baby!


What should I include in my plan?

• First, decide where you want to have your baby. A birthing center, a hospital, or a homebirth with a midwife? There are many options to choose from. Take in to consideration your health during pregnancy, as well as the baby’s health.

• Next, you may wish to discuss who you want to be with you for support during your labor. Most hospitals will not limit you as to who you want present during labor and delivery, unless you are in an operating room for a C-section (then it’s one person). Words to the wise- don’t invite more than a couple of people to be with you. It can turn in to a competition for your attention, and take your focus off what you need to accomplish.

• Talk about positions for labor and birth with your midwife or doctor. Would you prefer to be on your side? Walking? Upright with pillows behind you? On a birth ball? Rocking chair? In the shower or tub (my personal favorite)? The possibilities are endless, provided your care provider is on board with you. Your preferences may change depending on how the baby is positioned in the birth canal. Talk with your provider about what options are open to you.

• Discuss the atmosphere you want during labor. Did you know you can bring music with you? Have the lights dim? Do you want to bring your own pillows or blanket for comfort? Do you want to wear your own clothes or a hospital gown? Are you allowed to be mobile, to help speed along delivery? Will you want to incorporate a certain childbirth technique (Bradley, Lamaze, hypnobirth, etc)? Do you wish to be allowed to eat lightly or drink?

• Pain relief is a huge topic. Would you like to have your baby without any pain medication? Do you want to consider IV pain medication, or do you want an epidural? Remember- there are many things to take into consideration regarding the baby and your health if you want to have pain medication. Any pain medication you have WILL be passed to your baby through the placenta. If you plan on breastfeeding, it may affect how awake your baby is and his or her ability to breastfeed during the first few hours.

• Speeding up labor is sometimes necessary if the baby is in distress, but often times used much more casually. Many times a mom will be given Pitocin to speed up her contractions. This can also make labor much more painful, and can cause unnecessary complications due to a doctor being impatient. Be sure to discuss with your doctor or midwife when they would use Pitocin, what the risks and benefits are, and that they are not just using it so they can get home to their families.

• You will most likely have you and your baby’s heart rate monitored during labor. Discuss how you feel about external fetal monitoring, internal fetal monitoring, or Doppler monitoring.

• Discuss how you feel about assistance during pushing- this includes having a forceps delivery (basically using tongs to help pull the head out), an episiotomy (an incision made to the surrounding skin to make it wider for the head), a vacuum delivery (having a vacuum suck the baby’s head out), and other interventions. Research the risks, benefits, and why you would need to have any of these included in birth. Decide whether you would rather allow your self to tear if need be, or to have an episiotomy done.

• Discuss with your provider what positions you will be able to push in. Depending on the provider and the baby's position in the birth canal, having the freedom to push in a position that is not what you see on TV can greatly ease your pushing. Pushing in the water, using a birthing stool, being on your hands and knees, or being upright/semi-squatting with someone to support behind you can all be effective in pushing your baby out.

• Talk about skin to skin contact after birth, whether you have a C-section or vaginal birth. Some providers encourage it, and some you have to ask. It greatly helps to regulate the baby’s body temperature, helps to promote bonding between you and baby, helps to regulate the baby's heart beat after birth, and also helps to stimulate breast milk production. Side note: After my first birth, I was actually chastised by a nurse at the local hospital for skin to skin contact after birth, being told that my baby would end up "sick" if I didn't put some clothes on him. His temperature was perfect (imagine that!) from my body heat and the fuzzy blanket on top of him. Sometimes you do have to educate the health care professionals around you- of course, in a non -confrontational way.

• If you have a C-section, discuss where you would like to have the baby after birth. If the baby is recovering well, would you like to have the baby with you? Or would you prefer to have a family member go with the baby to the nursery?

• Decide what you would like to happen immediately after the birth. Is there a special person you wish to have the honor of cutting the cord? I recommend asking that the cord not be cut until it stops pulsating, so the baby can recieve all of it's blood from the placenta. Do you want to bank any of the baby's cord blood? Speaking of the placenta, do you wish anything to be done to it? Some people wish for it to be discarded, or to take it home and plant it under a tree, or do something else ceremonially with it.

• Make and educated decision about how you wish to feed your baby. There is no right or wrong way to feed your baby, but there are definite benefits to breastfeeding that bottle feeding does not compare with. If you decide to breastfeed, ask for help from the nurses to breastfeed your baby within the baby's first hour of life, if possible. It's called "the golden hour," and babies that are able to latch on in this time period do significantly better.

• Next, talk about whether you want your baby to room in with you or stay in the nursery. Most mothers today wish to keep their babies with them, but if you need some rest, you can ask that the nursery keep your baby and bring him or her to you when the baby is ready to be fed. Keeping baby with you will help cement your bond and kick those maternal instincts in. Don't be afraid to ask for your baby, you worked hard to get them here!

Remember, a doctor or midwife is someone that you choose, effectively "hire," and if you do not feel comfortable with the way that they practice in the delivery room, or the way that you will be managed during labor, it is OKAY to seek out a different doctor or midwife. Being comfortable and not having to fear about the way a provider will treat you during birth can greatly effect the outcome of your birth. You can be as in control of your birth as you want to be (provided you and baby are laboring in a safe, healthy way), and don't forget to speak up for your self!

Preggo Update: 23 weeks-ish

Baby Jessica, born at 23 weeks, now 3 1/2 years old. It's hard to believe that babies can still be aborted at this age in many states, even though they can grow and thrive into healthy children. Clearly, she is a person!

How Far Am I: As of Wednesday, 23 weeks. Almost to "viability week," but we are not counting on having to worry about a viable baby- I am trusting in God that I go to at least 37 weeks so I can have a home birth! Never had any issues with early labor, so we are trucking right along.

Baby's Gender: It looks like blue is going to be in our future again! Jose (so far) has been a straight shooter...There is still a small possibility of the baby being a girl, but based on what we were able to see, we are thinking "boy" and planning accordingly. However, if we weren't able to get a good view, and it is indeed a girl, than we would be excited too! 

How Much Weight Have I Gained: +5 lbs. I talked to our midwife, Jyl, at our appointment last Tuesday and she basically said I am on track with my weight gain. I shouldn't gain more than about 20 lbs total- starting out overweight means you can be fine with gaining less, or even losing weight in some cases. I am trying to continue to make healthy choices, indulge every once in a while, and just mind my body, so my body can mind my baby.

Cravings: None as of late! Just eating smaller, more frequent meals to avoid heartburn and feeling like my blood sugar is crashing. Sometimes after running around after the kids all day, I forget to eat/drink for my self, so I try to grab small things through out the day.

Baby Movement: Lots! The baby is moving enough that Jose can feel him occasionally now. No big jabs- mostly turning, poking, little kicks. Micah and Levi were both VERY active babies, and with my short frame, made my belly contort in not nice feeling ways after about 28 weeks. I am praying for a little mellower baby, so that I can actually get rest at night when I need it.

Body Changes: So far, I haven't obtained any more service stripes than I already had. I am using lotion or coconut oil (love that stuff!) quite a bit. The swelling bump has made Jose and I have to start getting creative in the bedroom, which is fine with us. And luckily I have only had major swelling after our cruise vacation, and then it went away after about 2 weeks of being back. I get a little swollen in the hands/feet in the evening if I have too much salt, but again, I am just trying to watch my diet. Other than a little round ligament pain here and there, no complaints!

Odd angle (Jose lying on the floor) but you get the gist!

Sleep Habits: I am getting about 7 hours a night. I am noticing that if I drink much in the evening, that by about 5 am I have to get up and pee. And pillows are becoming my best friend!

What Micah (5) /Levi (16 mos) Think of the Baby: Micah tells us that he is so excited for having another boy around. He knows that if God gives us something different than we were planning on (a girl) that it is fine, too...although I don't know how he feels about having girl toys around. Some of Jose and my closest friends have a boy that is 6 months old, so I have been trying to let Levi see me with another baby. He mostly just comes and sits down to investigate for a minute, then takes off to see what ever else his big brother is up to.

Baby Prep So Far:  Absolutely nothing! We have decided that sometime this summer, we will move Levi's crib into Micah's room and get them used to sleeping together. The new baby will be in with us until at least the spring, so once Levi transitions to the bottom bunk in him and Micah's room, the crib will go back to the nursery and the new baby can make the switch.

I finished sorting out all of the baby/kids clothes by appropriate sizes, and put them in labelled bins to eliminate closet mess. It looks like we are okay on clothes. After multiple children, some of the clothes just couldn't be handed down. Even so, it looks like we should be alright on clothes- not too much, just enough :)

I also made a registry on our cloth diapering retailer's website. If we have a shower, than people who want to can order something off there that we will actually use, instead of shooting in the dark or buying more toys, etc...

Eventually we will get a new car seat (the one we used with Levi was a hand-me-down from a friend, and the shade bit the dust), but first we have to see what kind of vehicle we are going to be in. We are most likely selling our SUV in order to help pay off some debts and make monetary strain a little easier, but we aren't sure yet if we are going to just have our Escort, or if we are going to try and save this summer/fall for a van that is larger. We are going to try being a one-vehicle family for the summer and see if it works out. I figure having one vehicle while school is out will be a good trial period.

Birth Prep: Jose and I are reading, reading, reading. Birth manifesto books. Books about nurturing touch during labor. Books about the promises that God has for child-baring. What to do during emergency situations during birth. Micah viewed a video of a home water birth with me. Some people may think that it is absurd to let a child see what birth is like- the sounds, what it looks like, what the mother goes through- but I want Micah to be genuinely prepared with the fact that if he is present, he may see me in pain...may see me bleed...may hear me make noises...and that it's okay. It's NORMAL, in fact. Our most recent generations have minimal knowledge of what normal child birth and breastfeeding looks like, and I want our children to know that it is a normal, healthy part of bringing life into the world, and it's what God created a mom's body to be able to do. He was extremely interested in it, and asked if he could see. I was very matter-of-fact in pointing out what was happening and answering his questions, and he moved right along with the rest of his afternoon.

Name Ideas:  We have nothing pinned down at this point. We like a BUNCH of names, but nothing has really jumped out and been "the name."  It's hard when you are a bi-ethnic family to name. And most people don't think that, because Jose looks European, but reality is...he is a Spaniard. Which means some names are off the table because either his family can't say them, or they sound absolutely ridiculous with a Spanish flair added to them. For instance, telling Jose's aunts in Spain on the webcam this week of a name we liked (Luka Cristiano), I got this response (translated): "Lucas...Lucas...meh, it's okay..." "No, Tia, it's Luka. No S. Just Luka." "Luka? What weird names you guys have in America."

Soooo, yeah. But then with Micah, it was "Formica. Everyone is going to say Formica like the counter top. Who's this present for? Formica." And Levi was no better. "Levi? What's his middle name going to be, Strauss? At least you'll know he wears the pants later on." Can't make everyone happy. You just go with your gut, and pick an honorable name.

Plus Sized, Nursing, and Pregnant: Levi is still happily nursing away most days, but I am able to distract him most times and hold him off until nap/bed time. He is gradually weaning, and only nurses about 3 or less times daily. Some days, he won't nurse at all (a nice break for mommy). I think I am going to try converting some of my regular jeans to maternity jeans. I have never been very pregnant in the summer, and it's HOT! So my hatred of shorts is not really helping the being-hot-all-the-time issue. The other thing I am encountering is that with my last two pregnancies, I threw up about 20 lbs worth, then slowly gained it back, and topped out about 15 lbs of total weight gain. This time around, I have only gained 5 lbs, but it already puts me close to my delivery weights for the other babies...so needless to say, I already feel like a heifer.

Self Worth, Explained to a 5 Year Old

Teachable moments, huh? Every parent has them. How about the moments that yes, are teachable, but bring you to tears, sting your heart, and take every ounce of your being not to turn into a heap of sobbing pregnant rage? That was my day yesterday. Well, the last few days any ways.

Micah, our oldest, is proving to me more and more why I want to get rid of cable television. His little brain is all of 5 years, but he is a sponge that soaks everything up. He is a very auditory learner, and can memorize almost anything word-for-word and spit it back to you like a parrot. Documentaries, animal facts, OXY-clean commercials, you name it. He absorbs everything, and lets me know which products are supposed to be "the best," which foods are "deliciously nutritious," and what games "need 2 to 8 players. That's us, right?" It is literally driving me crazy. We limit television in our house, but I have started to have to put the commercials on mute because I can't stand being in Publix, getting the cheap Ultrabrite tooth paste, and having my son tell me, "Mom, get the Colgate because it makes my smile sexy." HE IS FIVE.

We have been talking quite a bit in our house lately about making healthy eating choices, what goes in to our body, exercise, and the like. With me being pregnant and planning a completely natural, intervention-free birth with a midwife in a home setting, I am trying to be as conscientious as possible (while still allowing my self a little freedom, of course) as to what me and my family are eating. Obviously, halfway through my third pregnancy, my body is changing shape rapidly despite only a 3 pound weight difference in 20 weeks. When you already have extra shock absorbers covering your valuable goods, you don't always have that cute, pregnant belly. You have more of a... well, I affectionately call her "Kanga." Like kangaroo. As in this: When I am not pregnant, she is the pouch that my babies were grown in, and hangs around waiting for another baby to be put in to her kangaroo pouch. When I am pregnant, that pouch mostly fills in, with some wiggle room at the bottom that will all eventually be hacked off when I am done having children, and Jose and I are snot filthy rich with not a care in the world. Until then, she is "Kanga," and is more than welcome to, ahem, hang around.

Two days before, I am on the floor doing prenatal pilates-like stretches. Micah joins me on the floor, and I am doing a butterfly stretch to warm up. Micah can easily put his feet together, touch his butt, and push his knees all the way to the floor. I can get about 5 inches away, and my knees don't go all the way to the floor. Micah proceeds to inform me that it's because I am fat, that my fat bunches up and gets in the way. That he is skinny, and a boy, and is better than me at it because he is skinny, and a boy. 

"So boys are better than girls?"
"Yes."
"Oh really? What are boys better at?"
"Pretty much everything. We are faster, we are stronger, we stay skinny. We have better jobs."
"Girls can be fast and strong and skinny. And there can be boys that are too fat. Girls can have the same jobs as boys, if they want to. And God made boys and girls different. Some boys are good at some things, some girls are good at other things."
"Girls are better at just staying home."

Well, he does have a point for our family. The woman, in this case me, is much better at managing our house than Jose, the man. But I know that is not the case for every family.The next day's conversation was even worse for me. I was wearing low rise maternity pants. I only have 2 pairs of maternity jeans, that get rotated out. One is high (that I love), and the others are low, and I loathe them.

When you have a cute belly, the low rise ones are great. When you have Kanga hopping around, you are better off being comfortable and wearing the high ones. That morning I had no choice. I popped on the low rise ones, and away we went.  Getting in to the car, my jeans were falling off while I was trying to get into the car.

"I hate these pants!"
"Why Mommy? Are your legs to fat for them?"
"Micah, why would you say that? They are falling off, they are not to small."
"Well, you're legs are really fat. Maybe if you were skinny you wouldn't have these problems."
"You're right. But don't you think I am okay the way I am?"
"No, you're fat."
"So because you are skinny, are you better than me?"
"Yep."
"That's not true. God makes people in all different shapes, and sizes, and colors. That doesn't mean that any one is better than anyone else. It means they are different. What if someone had one leg instead of two, is one person better than another?"
"The person with two legs."
"No, Micah. Not better or worse. Both people, just different." 

After dropping him off at school, I called Jose on the way home and burst in to tears at the conversation we had. Already a pregnant ball of mushy hormones, this just threw me over the edge. So many things came rushing back to me that have taken me literally years to deal with, and I am still dealing with (another blog for another day about my body and my acceptance of it). Am I really of less value? Does being overweight make him see me as less of a mom? Does he really think handicapped people aren't of worth? 

The answer to all of it is a resounding "NO." After talking to Jose, settling down, and talking to Micah more when he got home, we worked through a lot of issues on color, size, shape, and handicap. We also talked about what is shaping his idea of what is good and perfect- the media- instead of what should be, which is what God says about us.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are of value. We are individuals. We are unique, made for a purpose, and not made to please anyone else aesthetically, but made to please God with the way we live.

Taking care of your body is part of that. So is taking care of your mind. And this week, we will be taking care of our minds and saying goodbye (and good riddance!) to cable TV.

What do you do in your family to ensure that your child knows we are all created equal? Loved? Of value? And do you monitor their media intake?